I can’t feel good about myself until I lose the weight.

Have you found yourself saying that?

If so, you are not alone.  There are many women who think that way, I was one of those, but I soon realized that that was not the way to go if I wanted to accomplish my weight loss goals.

You see, having or getting what you want is not conditional to something else.

The first and only step in getting what you want is that you believe that you can have it.

Would you say to yourself, “I can’t feel good about myself until I have the luxury car I have always wanted”  That wouldn’t make sense, right?

Yes, you would work hard to get the car, and when you get it, you will be proud that you accomplished what you said you would do, but your self-worth and your self-love would not depend on getting the car or not.   Or at least we can hope… 

As a matter of fact, the more you love yourself and see your value as a person, the higher the chances of getting the car, because you will look at it as something you deserve.

The same goes for achieving your weight loss goals and getting fit.

Loving your body and loving yourself go hand on hand with shedding the pounds, they are not mutually exclusive.

Some women might think that if they love themselves they will give up on their weight loss goals. That’s not going to happen because when you practice self-love you want to do what’s best for you and your body.

Let me give you another example.  I see this on a daily basis on my dogs.  My dogs take care of themselves, they do.  How do I know that?  I see how they avoid painful stimulus, they request food and water, and toys, and walks, etc.  They care for themselves by licking any sore spots they might have, they clean their bodies when they have to. I guarantee you that they are not “thinking” Gosh when my owner takes me to the groomer and I get rid of all this extra hair I will really be able to love myself. This might sound funny to you, but it’s true.  My dogs are perfect examples of the practice of self-love.

So why can’t we do the same?

We as humans are the highest intelligent animals on the planet, but we are also the most judgmental and harsh when it comes to the way we treat ourselves, and often times the way we treat others.

The first step toward a healthy life is to practice self-love, to honor and respect who you are, not for the way you look but for whom you really are. Start loving your body for what it does for you, not for how it looks.

The next time that you are inclined to say “I can’t feel good about myself until I lose the weight“, think twice about it.  Is that kind of self-talk beneficial for you?  Is putting yourself down for the way your body looks going to help you love your body more?  Or is it going to lower your self-esteem and make you feel worse?

Losing weight is not only about looking better, it’s about changing the way we feel toward ourselves. As it has been said it’s not about the food, it’s about stopping the self-hate.

So no more saying, “I can’t feel good about myself until I lose the weight“.  Start feeling good about yourself and the pounds will start to come off, I promise you.

Dr. Mayra Alfonso




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